From my blog, January 3rd, 2005

I never thought it would be possible to get nostalgic over a year. It's
just time, after all. But I'm sad to see 2005 go, because so many
amazing things happened for me that it's almost like I want to keep
reliving the moments, over and over again.

I sold three books in 2005. At this time last year, if you had told me
that, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Last year, my first book,
JOSH PARKER HAS A BIG HEAD.. AND OTHER THINGS I LEARNED THIS SUMMER had
been rejected by every single publishing house in New York. My
then-agent was so-so about my work, and there was a really small period
of time (like maybe fifteen minutes) where I wanted to give up.

I told my boyfriend that I couldn't do it anymore, that I couldn't
imagine writing ANOTHER whole book, and besides, WHY WASN'T ANYONE
BUYING JOSH PARKER BECAUSE IT WAS GOOD AND FUNNY AND HOW COULD I WRITE
SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT AND WHAT DID THESE PUBLISHING PEOPLE WANT
ANYWAY??? He tried to calm me down, but I just laughed maniacally and
read him my latest batch of rejection letters.

"See!" I said gleefully. "My character's emotional journey is thin!"

Then, a few weeks later, while moving files to a new computer, I found a
few pages of a book idea I had written a while ago. It was about a girl
with a long-distance boyfriend that goes on a reality TV show that will
broadcast her first semester of college. For some ridiculous reason, I
started writing it. Two months later, I left my previous agent and
signed with Nadia. Three weeks later, I had a two-book deal with Simon
and Schuster. And six months after that, we sold our non-fiction book
to Writer's Digest Books.

People say that once you get published, nothing changes, and that if you
think it does, you're just setting yourself up for a huge
disappointment. I don't agree --I think everything changes AND nothing
changes.

Nothing changes in that you still have to love the writing, you still
have to love the process, because none of it gets easier -- writing a
book is HARD, revising a book is HARD, and that doesn't change after
you've sold one or three or one hundred. Once you're published, a whole
new set of problems pops up. Instead of trying to find an agent, you're
trying to think of the best ways to promote, how to get your editor to
understand your reasons for certain things, freaking out over your
cover, worrying that you're not going to get enough attention from your
publicist. You check your Amazon rank obsessively, even though your
agent tells you it doesn't mean anything. You wonder what will happen
if this book, or the next book, or the one after that, just tanks. What
if nobody buys it? What if it really does suck? You read your writing
over, wondering what sort of drugs your editor must have been on when
she offered you money for it, and if she might lose her job once
everyone realizes your book is just horrible.

People always say, "Oh, to have such problems! Anyone who says this kind
of stuff is just being whiney and doesn't realize how lucky they are! I
would KILL to be published!" But you DO freak out over these things,
because this is YOUR BOOK. You're the one who spent countless hours at
the computer with no guarantee anyone was going to look at (much less
publish!) your stuff. You're the one who freaked out over your
character's every little action, obsessed over that one line of
dialogue on page 72, and stayed up until 3 in the morning on a work
night to finish chapter ten. So why wouldn't you freak out? Your work
is now going to be out in the world, and that's thrilling and
terrifying.

And as for not feeling lucky -- gah! Most days, most hours, most
minutes, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. And
that's where the everything changes part comes in.

Because of my book deal, I've gotten to do so many things and meet so
many amazing people that I otherwise wouldn't have. I met Robyn, who's
been going through this whole crazy ride with me, and has saved my
sanity on probably a thousand different occasions. I found Nadia, who
somehow, some way, got my book into the hands of someone who wanted to
give me ACTUAL MONEY for something I wrote, and then somewhere along
the way, became a great friend as well. I had the opportunity to teach
my classes, and get inspired by everyone who took them. Sarah Mlynowski
blurbed my book. I got to hang out with Caren Lissner. I went to book
readings in NYC. I've met so many great writers, either online or in
person that it's unreal. I also realized how lucky I am to have my
family, and to have CJ. Not one of them blinked or doubted me once when
I announced I was going to write books, even when no one wanted to buy
the first one I wrote.

I don't really know what the point of this long, rambling post is, other
than to reiterate what every writer always (and more eloquently than
me!) says. Don't give up. This could be the year, the month, the day,
the minute that everything and nothing changes.

*If you have any specific questions about writing or the publication
process, feel free to email me.